13: 5 Breathing Techniques for Managing Anxiety and Stress

Welcome to the Women's Success Coach Podcast. A podcast created to inspire growth and to help you learn, achieve, and evolve in your life ongoing regardless of your age. I'm your host, certified coach, and licensed therapist Karen Vincent, and I'm here to guide you and provide you with concrete tips and strategies you can implement in your life. I'm also here to inspire you, challenge you, and cheer you on so that you can create the life of your dreams and beyond. In episode number 13 of the Women's Success Coach Podcast, I am going to walk you through why learning how to breathe effectively is so important for managing anxiety and stress. I will also share five specific breathing strategies that you can use, I'll explain why they matter, and I will give you tips for how to use them daily so that they are most impactful when you need them the most. I also created a guide that accompanies this episode, which you can download and keep on hand as a reference as you become familiar with each of these breathing technique. To access this guide, go to www.karenvincentsolutions.com/breathing. That's www.karenvincentsolutions.com/breathing. Or you can go click the link in the show notes as well. Also, I want to note that these breathing strategies alone are not a replacement for formal coaching or therapy to address chronic stress or anxiety. However, they can be very impactful in learning to manage symptoms and help you feel more in control of what your nervous system is doing, as well as your thoughts. Now, let's jump to it so that you can determine what your preferred breathing strategies are. Well, hello. If you want support in managing anxiety or stress, you are in the right place, my friend. And, if we're being honest, who doesn't experience anxiety and stress at times? We all do at varying levels, and all stress and anxiety is not bad in my opinion. Sometimes it can push you to get things done that you may otherwise continue to put off, so it's a motivator. It may also help you anticipate potential obstacles so you can avoid them. It can also help you focus on the details of something so that you execute at a higher level than you may otherwise do. And in situations of real danger, it functions as a warning system so that you take the necessary steps to protect yourself. While those are all positive ways in which anxiety and stress can be helpful, there are also ways that it can be unhelpful. Especially in instances where they kind of take on a life of their own, for example. Your anxiety or stress is not helpful when it has you play out all the worst case scenarios of a situation over and over, even though there's a 99.99% chance, those scenarios will never even occur. It's also not helpful when it causes you to wake up in the middle of the night to replay a mental checklist of all the things you have to do the next day or the next week. Or when you get those Sunday scaries and worry about your work week ahead all day Sunday, robbing you of your precious day off. It's also not helpful when it has you replaying interactions you had with others and tries to tell you that you did or said something that you should be embarrassed about. Or when you jump to the worst possible scenario when the person you're dating is running late or doesn't respond to your call or text right away. Or maybe it's when you have a pain in your forehead and you automatically assume there's a serious medical problem. And finally, it's also when you assume other people think negatively about you, even though there's no actual evidence to support this assumption. I could go on and on and on, but hopefully you can see the difference between helpful anxiety and stress and problematic anxiety and stress. Today I'm going to give you five breathing strategies that will help you slow down and calm your nervous system in instances where you notice your anxiety and stress building. I will go through each one, so if you're somewhere that allows you to try them, as I go through them, I'd encourage you to do so. If not, you can listen and then come back and try them when you have the time and space to do so. You will also want to download the free guide I created to go along with this episode and use it as a reference as you try these breathing techniques to determine which ones may be most impactful for you. Again, you can grab that guide by going to the show notes and clicking the link, or you can go to www.karenvincentsolutions.com/breathing. Now before I dive in, I want to highlight what's happening in your body when you're experiencing stress and anxiety, because if I'm going to give you a tool, I want to make sure you know why it's helpful. So when you experience stress and anxiety, you are having thoughts about a situation, a circumstance, or a person that creates the stress and anxiety. It generates those feelings. Lots of times we think that things external to us are creating our stress and anxiety, however, it's always what we're thinking about those things that create the feelings we experience. This is why two people can experience the same exact event and feel very differently about it. When you have thoughts about something that causes you worry, your nervous system will respond to those thoughts. I'm not going to go into too much detail here, but you have a sympathetic nervous system which is responsible for your fight-flight response, and you also have a parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for your rest-relaxation response. And when you start to have thoughts that create worry, your sympathetic nervous system will start to rev up. And when your nervous system revs up, your breathing tends to become more shallow like you are breathing from your upper chest or even from your throat instead of from your abdomen. When this happens, your body is then sending a signal back to your brain that you're moving towards, or that you are in fight or flight mode, which then creates more worrisome thoughts that the body then responds to. It's like a loop that forms where the mind triggers the body and then the body triggers the mind, and then the mind triggers the body and the loop just keeps going. And when this happens, the emotional side of the brain is working overtime, having you consider all the negative things that could occur. And when that happens, the logical side of the brain shuts down. This is obviously not good because without the logical side of the brain, the irrational thoughts and excessive worry will just keep going. And in an extreme case, this could result in a full-blown panic attack. This is where the breathing comes in. It's a tool that can help you slow down your nervous system so that you feel better physically, but also so that logical side of your brain can get its voice back and help you recognize that at least some of your thoughts are not serving you, and it can therefore help you decide to think better, more accurate thoughts. What I love about using breathing to manage anxiety and stress, is that you can literally do it anywhere at any time. You could be sitting in a meeting, driving in your car, lying in bed, standing backstage before stepping on a stage to speak, sitting in a waiting room of a hospital, or walking into a large social event, and using the breathing to help you manage your thinking and emotions. What I always recommend is that you try all of these and determine which ones feel better for you. One technique is not better than the other. It's about finding which one or ones you prefer and then making a commitment to use them. I highly recommend that you use them for a minimum of three times per day, for a few weeks, even if you don't think you are experiencing anxiety and stress. And if it works for you, I would recommend practicing your breathing in the morning, midday, and then either right after work or in the evening when you're winding down. And the reason for this goes back to that saying we've all heard throughout our lives, and that saying is, practice makes perfect. If you only try these techniques when you really need them, you're going to have a hard time because that logical side of your brain is not going to be as helpful as it normally is. So just like with any sport, you practice and perfect your skills before you show up for the game day when you really need them. I also recommend that you do 10 rounds minimum when practicing each technique. I will explain more what that means, but it only takes a couple of minutes, so it's not time consuming at all. The reason I recommend that you practice 10 rounds three times per day, is because you will train your brain to know that when you start breathing and counting in a certain way, that the goal is to get yourself to a certain level of relaxation. Over time, when you start breathing, your brain and body will know where it's headed, and it will just get there faster because you will have trained it to do so. It may sound simple, but when you take control to slow down your breathing, you will slow down your nervous system, which will allow the logical side of your brain to kick in. Also, as simple as it sounds, when you're counting in your mind to pace your breathing, all the other noise in your mind will shut down because our brains can only focus on one thing at a time. So after 10 rounds of breathing, your nervous system will be slowed down, your logical brain will be up and running again, and all the worried thoughts will be gone immediately following the breathing, which gives you a chance to challenge and change the unhelpful thoughts. So let's get to it and go through five breathing techniques I recommend for managing stress and anxiety. Breathing technique#1: this technique is called box breathing. Most of my clients find this very helpful when dealing with stress and anxiety. So I will first explain how it works, and then I'll walk you through a few rounds of it so you can breathe along with me if you are in a place that allows you to do so. So first, you're going to breathe in for a count of four, slowly counting in your mind. Then. you pause for a count of four counting slowly in your mind. Then you exhale for a count of four counting slowly in your mind, and then you pause for a count of four counting slowly in your mind before taking the next breath. So that's considered one round of box breathing. And if you even visualize the four even sides of a box, you can do that as you go through this breathing activity and count, you can also do that visualization. So let's do three rounds together. Sit comfortably or stand comfortably, and you're going to breathe in and I'm gonna walk you through the pace. So breathe in 2, 3, 4, pause 2, 3, 4, exhale 2, 3, 4, pause 2, 3, 4, breathe in 2, 3, 4, pause 2, 3, 4, exhale 2, 3, 4, pause 2, 3, 4, breathe in 2, 3, 4, pause, 2, 3, 4, exhale, 2, 3, 4, pause, 2, 3, 4. So that's three rounds, and if you find that you would be more comfortable just doing a count of three, that's fine. If you feel like it's too much to take in and pause for the 4 count. On the flip side, if you feel like five feels more comfortable, you can play around with the numbers. It's just the process of doing the counting and keeping the four parts of the breath equal. You should feel an increased sense of calm, even just after a few rounds. And again, I recommend you do at least 10 and certainly more is always welcome. Breathing technique#2: this is called lengthening your exhale, or 4, 5, 6 breathing. Sometimes when you're feeling anxiety or stress, it can feel hard to take a breath in, and that's where that shallow breathing can come in, which can trigger the sympathetic nervous system, which is not where you want be when trying to calm yourself down. With this particular breathing technique, you're going to first exhale all the air you can get out of your lungs. Then you're going to inhale for a count of 4, pause for count of 5, and exhale for a count of 6. And again, the idea is that counting will help you clear your mind, allow the logical side of your brain to kick in, and the slow breathing will slow down your nervous system. So let's do three rounds of this type of breathing together. So first I want you to take a long exhale, releasing as much air as you can from your lungs. Next, breathe in, 2, 3, 4. Pause, 2, 3, 4, 5. Exhale, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Breathe in, 2, 3, 4. Pause, 2, 3, 4, 5. Exhale, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Breathe in, 2, 3, 4. Pause, 2, 3, 4, 5. Exhale, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. As I shared with box breathing, you should feel more of a sense of calm, and I recommend that you try this, doing at least 10 rounds of this particular type of breathing. Breathing technique#3: 1, 2, 3, 4, breathing. Some of these names are really just a cue to help you remember what type of counting you're supposed to be doing during the breathing activity. So this technique is similar to the first two with a bit of a different way of counting. The breathing starts faster and then slows down. So if you find it challenging to take a deep breath to begin with, this technique may feel better. So to start, you inhale for a count of 1, then exhale for count of 1. Then inhale for count of 2, and exhale for count of 2. Next, you inhale for a count of 3. Exhale for a count of 3, and then inhale for a count of 4 and exhale for a count of 4. Once you exhale for a count of 4, that's one round, and then you go back to inhaling for count of 1 and complete a second round with the goal of doing a total of 10 rounds. So let's practice this one together. I'll walk you through three rounds as I have with the other one. So you're going to Inhale. Exhale. Inhale two. Exhale two. Inhale, two, three. Exhale, two, three. Inhale, 2, 3, 4. Exhale. Three, four. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale two. Exhale two. Inhale, two, three. Exhale, two, three. Inhale, 2, 3, 4. Exhale, 2, 3, 4. Inhale. Exhale. Two. Exhale, two. Inhale, two, three. Exhale, two, three. Inhale, 2, 3, 4. Exhale, 2, 3, 4. And as I said before, you can play around with the numbers. If 4 feels like too much you could do, uh, just up to 3. And if 4 feels like you could go more, you could do up to 5. But the process is you start with 1, you work your way to your max, and then you start over with 1. Breathing technique#4: diaphragmatic breathing. This one's more appropriate for a setting in which you can do it properly without worrying about who may be watching, since it does involve using your hands as well. This is a type of breathing that can help you raise your awareness as to whether you're breathing from your abdomen or if you're taking those shallow breaths from your chest area. So to do this breathing technique, bring one hand to your belly and place the other hand on your chest. And then you're going to inhale through the nose for 4 seconds, feeling your belly rise as you breathe in. When you do this, the hand on your chest will stay still and it should not move. The breath is coming from the belly, not from the chest area. Then you're going to exhale through the nose for 4 seconds, feeling your belly lowered back to its original position. So having the hands on the belly and chest will help you make sure the breaths are coming from your belly and not your chest area. And if you notice that they are coming from your chest area, just take some time to practice and get familiar with what it feels like to get them coming from deeper within you from that abdomen area. So let's practice three rounds of this breathing together. So again, you're going to bring one hand to your belly and place the other hand on your chest. Inhale through the nose, 2, 3, 4. Exhale through the nose, 2, 3, 4. Inhale, 2, 3, 4. Exhale, 2, 3, 4. Inhale, 2, 3, 4. Exhale. 2, 3, 4. So take note if you notice that your belly was rising and falling with the breath, or if that felt difficult for you. This might be one worth coming back to and practicing. There's no wrong way to breathe. You're just going to maximize the benefits and your ability to slow down your nervous system if you can learn to get those deep breaths from the diaphragm or from the abdomen area. And our final breathing technique. Breathing

technique#5: is called

coherent breathing. And this is a breathing technique that allows you to extend the length of your breaths as you progress through the technique. So to start, place your hand on your stomach if you're somewhere where you can do so. Again, this is just to help make sure you're breathing from your diaphragm and not

from your chest. And how

you do this type of breathing, I'll walk you through it and then we'll practice it together, is you

breathe in for 4 seconds and exhale for 4 seconds without

pausing at the top of the breath and taking just a slight pause at the bottom of the breath. And you do that for 3 rounds. So the 4 count for 3 rounds. Then you breathe in for 5 seconds, and exhale for 5 seconds without pausing at the top of the breath and taking just that little slight pause at the bottom of the breath. And do that for 3 rounds. And finally, you're going to breathe in for 6 seconds and exhale for 6 seconds, taking just that brief pause at the bottom of the breath, and then you're going repeat that for 10 rounds. So it's a way to build up, especially if your nervous system is revved up, it's going to be hard for you to take in a slow count of 6 if you have that shallow breathing going on. So you slowly slow it down with the 4 count, with the 5 count and then you reach the 6 count Now let's try this final technique together and we'll do 3 rounds of 4, 3rounds of 5 and 3 rounds of 6, knowing that if you were doing this on your own, you want to try to do the 10 rounds of 6 when you get up to 6. Okay, so sit comfortably or stand comfortably. Breathe in, 2, 3, 4. Exhale. 2, 3, 4. In 2, 3, 4. Out, 2, 3, 4. In, 2, 3, 4. Out, 2, 3, 4. In, 2, 3, 4, 5. Out, 2, 3, 4. 5. In 2, 3, 4, 5. Out, 2, 3, 4, 5. In, 2, 3, 4, 5. Out, 2, 3, 4, 5. In 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Out, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. In 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Out, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. In, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Out, 2, 3, 4. 5, 6. And again, you'd keep at that 6 count for up to 10 rounds or certainly more. You're always welcome to do more if it's feeling good and it's getting you into a nice, relaxed state. Just as a reminder, now that you've been exposed to these five techniques, the goal is to slow down your nervous system so that you feel less tension, so that your logical brain is activated and to clear out anxiety and stress producing unhelpful thoughts. So as we do in all my episodes, I want you to take some action and I really want you to take some action with these breathing techniques and find out which ones are most effective for you. I encourage you to try each one and then practice the ones that you feel will be most helpful. There's so much talk about the power of managing your breathing because it does make a big difference with both how you feel as well as your ability to manage your mindset and thinking patterns. I've used these strategies with children and adults and really with people from all walks of life. And what I can tell you is they work, And if you are willing to put the practice in ahead of time, they work even better. You can go back through this episode and have me walk you through the steps again for each breathing technique I discussed, and I also encourage you to go to the show notes and or go to www.karenvincentsolutions.com/breathing. and download the guide that I created for you to help you go through each of these techniques. That's www.karenvincentsolutions.com/breathing. And keep that as a reference that you can go back to until you're fully comfortable with the techniques that you identify that work for you the best. Also, please share this episode with anyone you care about who's struggling with anxiety or stress so that they also have these tools that will help them feel more in control overall. That's a wrap. You should be proud of yourself for investing time in you, which is so critical for success and for overall life fulfillment. I look forward to having you join me for my next episode. And in the meantime, go click that subscribe button so you'll know when it's released, and you can also follow me on Instagram at Best Boss Lady Life that's at Best Boss Lady Life on Instagram. Also, remember that whatever it is that you're working on, you've got this and I'm here cheering you on.