16: Take The Action: It's Going to Be Uncomfortable Anyway

Welcome to the Women's Success Coach Podcast. A podcast created to inspire growth and to help you learn, achieve, and evolve in your life ongoing regardless of your age. I'm your host, certified coach, and licensed therapist Karen Vincent, and I'm here to guide you and provide you with concrete tips and strategies you can implement in your life. I'm also here to inspire you, challenge you, and cheer you on so that you can create the life of your dreams and beyond. In today's Shorty podcast episode of the Women's Success Coach Podcast, I'm talking about taking action even when you really don't want to. We all have things we should do, or need to do, yet we really, really don't want to. Your reason for not wanting to do something could be because it's boring, frustrating, or mundane, or it could be because it feels hard, challenging, uncomfortable, or even overwhelming. What happens when you postpone taking action, is that you sit in those uncomfortable feelings for longer than is necessary. In most cases, they won't magically go away, and suddenly you'll feel good about doing the task at hand. Instead, they're still there until you get the task done. So you're creating a situation where you have to experience them for a longer period of time. In today's episode, I'm going to break this down a little bit more, explain why this happens, and give you some strategies to help you get into action so that you just do the damn thing, instead of worrying about it or even dreading it. Hey, friend, since today we're talking about taking action and getting things done, and because this is a short episode, I'm going to jump right to it. If we're being honest, there are things we need to do each week or maybe even every day, that we don't really want to do. Whether it's cleaning, folding laundry, doing your taxes, having an uncomfortable conversation, working out, finishing a work project, or attending a meeting, there are things that given the choice, we would delegate, delegate, delegate. And as a side note, if there are tasks you really don't like doing that you can realistically delegate, you should consider doing so. However, in most cases, they're likely things that require you to get them done. When you have something that needs to get done, that's not something you're looking forward to, your brain will encourage you not to do it. This is because the emotional, or primitive side of your brain, is wired to keep you comfortable and to conserve energy. So when it thinks about working on a project for work that will take a lot of critical thinking, it's like, ummmm, I would much prefer you to check your email, your Slack, or even, let's take a quick peek at social media because that feels much easier and doable. On top of trying to keep you comfortable and conserve energy, that emotional side of your brain can also create a lot of unnecessary drama and make you think a task like folding the laundry is much harder than it actually is. I saw this play out for me so clearly the other day. I walked into the kitchen to heat something up to eat for breakfast, and there were clean dishes and some pans in the dish trainer, as well as a couple dishes in the sink that needed to be washed. Almost immediately I felt a combination of frustration and overwhelm due to my brain telling me that the kitchen was a mess and that I did not have enough time to go in and clean it all up. I then got my food, put it in the microwave for one minute and 30 seconds, and decided to put a couple of dishes away while I was waiting. And what do you think happened? I was able to put away all the clean dishes and pans, the dishes in the sink were washed, dried, and put away all before the timer on the microwave beeped. What caused me frustration and a little bit of overwhelm, literally took me less than a minute and 30 seconds to complete. Now, if I had not put them away and started working for the day, it would've remained on my mind that I had this disaster of a kitchen that needed to be cleaned up, which would've resulted in my feeling annoyed, frustrated, irritated, or overwhelmed throughout the day about something that was not a big deal at all. Instead of feeling those negative feelings for a minute or two, I may have felt them for hours, which seems like a terrible idea, yet this is something we are all prone to doing. So if you notice you're having negative emotions about something that you have to do today or this week, consider why. Is it because you think it'll be hard, boring, unpleasant, or uncomfortable? Now, consider if there's any benefit to putting it off. If you delay doing it, will it get easier? Will there be someone else who will pitch in and help? Will it magically go away? If not, consider what it would be like to just get both the task as well as the negative emotions associated with it off your plate, rather than dragging them out and having them linger over time. Ask yourself, if the task is going to be uncomfortable anyway, why would I choose to sit in these negative emotions for any longer than I need to? Then remind yourself that often taking the first step to get into action can be the hardest part, but once you are in action, you start to feel better and momentum and motivation follows. So, because taking the first step can be the hardest. I'm going to offer you some strategies to help you get into action with whatever it is that you're wanting to put off today or this week.#1: If it feels like a big task, break it down into smaller steps. So if cleaning the whole house feels like too much, start with cleaning one room. If doing the whole project start to finish feels like a lot, break it down into smaller sections. 2: Tell yourself you only need to work on the task for five minutes. Set a timer on your phone, start working on the task for five minutes, and when the timer goes off, you can decide if you want to keep going. And if you decide not to, you can do this same process later again in the day or later, again in the week. However, what tends to happen with this is that you will keep going because you realize it's not as bad as you made it out to be, and now you just want to get it done.#3: Ask yourself what your future self wants you to do. This might sound a little funny, but stick with me. As I mentioned, when you put off taking action because something feels uncomfortable, you just prolong the discomfort until you eventually have to do the task. If there's something that you want to put off at 9:00 AM, ask yourself what your 5:00 PM self will think if 5:00 PM comes and the task is still not done. Consider what your day will feel like knowing that you have this unpleasant or uncomfortable task waiting for you at the end of the day, versus what it would feel like if you just get it done first thing in the morning. In most instances, you would feel more energized because you wouldn't have that uncomfortable task hanging over your head for hours. So as I do with all my episodes, I want to make sure that you take some action and put this information to use. I'm going to give you a five step process, which is in the show notes, so you can go reference it there to help you take action when you really don't want to.#1: Identify the one thing that you have to do today or over the course of the next week that you don't really want to do because it feels unpleasant or uncomfortable.#2: Identify the thoughts you have about it and the feelings that those thoughts generate.#3: Challenge the thoughts. Are they accurate? Is it as bad as you think it is, or is your brain feeding you some kind of drama about it? They may be accurate, but it's always good to check in and make sure your brain's not blowing things out of proportion as it did for me that day in the kitchen.#4: Decide if you want to sit in those uncomfortable feelings for the whole day or week, or if you want to get the thing done so that you can move on from them. Decide on a time, you'll start to take action on the task, and then just take that action.#5: Choose a strategy or strategies that will help get you into action. As a reminder, you might want to break it down into smaller chunks, or you may want to set a timer for five minutes and assess if you want to keep going once the timer goes off. Or you may want to think about your future self and ask how they would feel about you getting the tasks started or even completed instead of prolonging it. So there you have it. This is a process you can use over and over. Anytime you notice you're putting something off because it feels uncomfortable, so that you don't sit in the negative emotions surrounding a task longer than you need to. And one more thing, if you like this content and you also like reading, go check out my blog at www.karenvincentsolutions.com/blog. That's www.karenvincentsolutions.com/blog. That's a wrap. You should be proud of yourself for investing time in you, which is so critical for success and for overall life fulfillment. I look forward to having you join me for my next episode. And in the meantime, go click that subscribe button so you'll know when it's released, and you can also follow me on Instagram at Best Boss Lady Life that's at Best Boss Lady Life on Instagram. Also, remember that whatever it is that you're working on, you've got this and I'm here cheering you on.