17: Fixed Mindset vs. Growth Mindset

Welcome to the Women's Success Coach Podcast. A podcast created to inspire growth and to help you learn, achieve, and evolve in your life ongoing regardless of your age. I'm your host, certified coach, and licensed therapist Karen Vincent, and I'm here to guide you and provide you with concrete tips and strategies you can implement in your life. I'm also here to inspire you, challenge you, and cheer you on so that you can create the life of your dreams and beyond. In today's episode of the Women's Success Coach Podcast, I'm talking all about mindset, having a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset, and why this matters. You may very well have heard about these concepts before and in fact, I hope you have, because understanding what they are, why they matter, and how to foster a growth mindset is so powerful. In this episode, I will break it all down, share with you why learning to manage your mindset matters, and then I'll give you some specific tools that you can implement right away to help you start to manage your mindset and foster a growth mindset. And before you start to assume that this managing or even changing your mindset is a big undertaking. Rest assured, none of what I'm sharing with you will take a long time. I promise. So let's get to it. Hey there, my friend. Mindset is one of those buzzwords you may have been hearing a lot about lately, but what exactly is it? What the

heck does"change your mindset" mean? Well,

first, let's talk about what mindset is. Your mindset is your mental attitude, beliefs, and perceptions about yourself, others, and the world around you. It involves the thoughts, feelings, and the assumptions that shape how you approach and interpret situations that come up in your life. It's like a lens through which you view the world that helps you make sense of your experiences. If you think in very general terms, you may know someone who you would describe as always being pessimistic and or you may know someone who you would describe as always being optimistic. The words pessimistic and optimistic reflect the way two individuals approach situations. It defines the lens through which they see things that are happening to them, and around them. A pessimistic person is going to automatically look for all the things that could go wrong, and remind themselves of things that have gone wrong in the past. While an optimistic person is going to look at the bright side of things, or the opportunities to be found in situations and remind themselves of the things that have gone right up until this point. Each of our mindsets is unique to us. And it has been created over time and shaped by our life experiences, things we've been told, things we've witnessed, and our own self-talk. Mindset matters because it can significantly impact your life, including your ability to achieve your goals, to overcome challenges, and to navigate the ups and downs of life. If you hold a negative mindset, your lens will be focused on only the things that are not going well in your life. You may spend a lot of time thinking about past failures, past experiences with other individuals that were negative, or the ways that life feels unfair. You may also believe that your past shapes your future, which means you don't believe you can grow and change, or you don't believe that you can have control to change the trajectory of your life. This is what is referred to as a fixed mindset. And individuals with a fixed mindset believe that they have a set amount of intelligence, talent, and skill that cannot be improved through effort, practice and learning. They also see failure as evidence of their lack of ability and intentionally avoid challenges instead of leaning into them and allowing growth to happen. This fixed mindset gets shaped and reinforced over time, because that lens on the brain that I talked about supports this fixed mindset. Think about it, it was not there when you were born. If it was, you would've never learned to walk. You would've seen other people walking. You would've maybe tried it once or twice, fallen down, and then told yourself,"I don't know how to walk"."I don't have the skillset that others have to walk, so I guess I'll just crawl through life". I know that example sounds absurd. But if you think about it, when a baby is trying to walk, everyone encourages them, tells them it's possible, holds their hand and supports them so that they keep going. In addition, they don't have any past narrative telling them that they are a failure, so they don't know any difference and they just keep trying until they master the skill of walking. When a fixed mindset's in place, that lens on the brain will scan and search for more evidence to support that fixed mindset. It will remind you of your past failures, tell you that you're not the kind of person who can do or has X, Y, or Z, and it will tell you to stay where you are now, which is comfortable and familiar. And much of this will be happening unconsciously without you even recognizing that you're missing out on many positive things, or opportunities for growth. That does not sound good, right? The good news is that none of our mindsets are set in stone, and we all have the ability to change them so that they work for us, and not against us. The opposite of a fixed mindset is a growth mindset. When you have a growth mindset, you believe that your abilities can be developed through hard work, dedication, and learning. This is very helpful in the face of setbacks because you see setbacks or failures as opportunity for growth. Also, in challenging situations, you are able to see the upside and not only the downside. In addition, instead of that lens on the brain scanning for evidence of more limitations or that more negative things will happen, it will be searching for things that feel positive, hopeful, and inspiring. So you may be wondering, why do some people have growth mindsets and why do some people have fixed mindsets? Certainly upbringing and childhood play a role. As children, we're all sponges absorbing everything around us without having the ability to question or challenge things in the way that we can as adults. I think I may have shared this example in another podcast episode, but it highlights so beautifully how our minds can work for us or against us, that I'm going to share it again. Years ago there was a student who was failing out of

high school, but who agreed

to take the SATs at the request of his mother, even though he knew he would likely not even make it to graduation, let alone attend college. When his score came back, he got a 1480 out of 1600. So of course, initially there was concern that he cheated on

the exam because it was a

really good score. The student was adamant that he didn't cheat, and he was actually amazed that he was much smarter than he thought he was. When he realized he had this potential, he started attending class more, applying himself more, and he started hanging out with different friends. His teachers also started paying more attention to him and treating him differently. Despite having thought he would not make it to graduation the year prior, he graduated from high school and even attended community college. He then went and got his bachelor's degree and went on to further attend an Ivy League school. After college, he went on to become a very successful magazine entrepreneur. So in hearing this, you might be

thinking,"thank goodness he took the SAT, so that the

test could help him see that he was smart, and that he could have a successful career". However, this is not actually what happened. Years later, this individual received a letter

from the SAT headquarters,

and after a periodic review of policies and procedures for administering and scoring the SATs, they identified that this individual was one of 13 people who received the wrong score. Instead of scoring 1480 out of 1600, he scored a 740 out of 1600. Now I want you to really think about this for a minute. This individual believed he had more potential than he ever thought he did, and he started to behave differently and apply himself differently. After receiving the 1480 score, he believed he was capable of graduating and attending college. In addition, his teachers started believing in him as well because of how his behavior changed. The reality is that nothing changed initially other than his mindset about what he was capable of. I really believe that, especially as children, individuals can live up to, but also can live down to the expectations of others and of themselves. Over time, we start to internalize our expectations of ourselves and what we think we're capable of. And if I'm being honest, I think that most of us have no idea of what we're truly capable of, because in order to discover that, we have to be willing to stretch, grow, and to be uncomfortable on an ongoing basis. In addition to mindset impacting things like academic or professional success, it also impacts relationships, physical health, mental health, and really all areas of our lives. If you have a fixed mindset and think that your capabilities are what they are and that you have no control to change them, this can certainly contribute to a negative outlook on life overall. You're less likely to take action to make things in your life better because you think that life is happening to you, instead of feeling empowered to create the life you want. So hopefully you understand a little more about why mindset is so important to the results you get in your life. And if in listening to this, you feel you have a fixed mindset, or not as much as a growth mindset as you want, I'm going to walk you through some steps to help you change that. Changing a fixed mindset to a growth mindset is possible with intention, effort, and some practice. So the first strategy I'm going to give you involves having awareness. If you don't notice something's happening, you can't change it. Take time to notice when you're demonstrating a fixed mindset with your thoughts, your self-talk, and your beliefs about what you or others are capable of. Especially in situations where you feel challenged or you have experienced a setback. Tune in and raise your awareness to what kind of mindset you are embracing. The next strategy involves embracing the power of"yet". That's yet, Y E T. Yet is a powerful word because it offers hope when you add it to the end of a sentence. So instead of saying,"I can't do it", say"I can't do it, yet". Instead of saying,"It will never happen for me", say,"It has not happened for me, yet". Instead of saying,"I will never lose weight", say,"I have not lost the weight, yet". Instead of saying,"I will never find true love", say,"I have not found true love, yet". You get the point right? It's a subtle difference, but it can make a big difference because instead of telling yourself that this is just the way it is, you are telling yourself that change is possible, which will put your brain to work for you in a much different way. Next up, challenge the limiting beliefs you hold about yourself, your abilities, or your intelligence. Remind yourself that just because you have a thought doesn't mean that thought is true. Question the beliefs and self-talk you have that limits what you think is possible in your life. Ask yourself,"Would 10 other people agree that you're limiting beliefs are 100% true"?"Would 10 other people agree that there is not any evidence to support more empowering beliefs"? Try to replace your negative beliefs with beliefs that are more empowering and that offer more hope. The next strategy involves embracing challenges, instead of fearing them and trying to avoid them. I'm sure you've heard the phrase,"no challenge, no change", and I really believe this is true. When you learn to challenge and place value on your effort, it's inevitable that you'll learn and grow. Try viewing discomfort as a catalyst for change, instead of something to be feared. Be curious about what you can learn about yourself as you work towards something so that you enjoy the process itself, and not only the outcome. Another strategy I have for you is learning from your failures. Reframe those failures as learning experiences instead of setbacks to be upset about. Again, I want you to get curious. What went wrong? What lessons can you learn? How can you use this information to help you in the future? Unless you refuse to try anything new, you will experience failures. But this is all okay. View these failures as stepping stones towards success rather than as evidence that something is wrong with you. My final strategy for you is I want you to surround yourself with other people who embrace a growth mindset. Be sure you are not reinforcing a fixed mindset by surrounding yourself only with other people with fixed mindsets. Be intentional about seeking out people who will encourage you, support you, and cheer you on even during life's challenging times. Seek out mentors, coaches, or peers who inspire and motivate you to embrace challenges and strive for ongoing growth. Changing your mindset is likely easier than you think, and it does not require a lot of time. What it does require is consistent effort in using strategies like the ones I shared for just a little bit of time each day. And if you're looking for a community that embraces a growth mindset, come on over and join my community where I will send you exclusive weekly content that supports a growth mindset, and you can join my community by going to www.karenvincentsolutions.com/newsletter. www.karenvincentsolutions.com/newsletter. And before we go, I'm going to review these strategies quickly for you one more time, because I always want you to take action on the information I share with you so that you can see results. These action steps are in the show notes as well, so you can go check them out there, at any time.#1: Increase your awareness. Start to notice where you have a fixed mindset showing up in

your life.#2: Embrace the power of"yet". Add the word

yet to the end of a sentence, which reminds you that change is possible. And just because you can't do something or have something today, does not mean that it will never happen.#3: Challenge the limiting beliefs you hold about yourself, your abilities or your intelligence. All thoughts are not true, so be sure that you're questioning them and not accepting them at face value, even if their thoughts you've been holding onto for a very long time.#4: Embrace challenges instead of fearing them and trying to avoid them. Lean into challenges. Appreciate the process in your efforts and know that this is where the real growth occurs.#5: Learn from your failures. See failures as learning opportunities, rather than setbacks that stop you in your tracks.#6: Surround yourself with other people who embrace a growth mindset. This can make a big difference. So take some time to seek out others with a growth mindset. If you don't already have them in your life, you're welcome to come Join my community where I will provide you with exclusive tips, strategies, and inspiration to help you live your very best life. And again, you can do this by going to www.karenvincentsolutions.com/newsletter. going to www.KarenVincentSolutions.com/newsletter. www.karenvincentsolutions.com/newsletter. www.karenvincentsolutions.com/newsletter. I'd love to see you there. That's a wrap. You should be proud of yourself for investing time in you, which is so critical for success and for overall life fulfillment. I look forward to having you join me for my next episode. And in the meantime, go click that subscribe button so you'll know when it's released, and you can also follow me on Instagram at Best Boss Lady Life that's at Best Boss Lady Life on Instagram. Also, remember that whatever it is that you're working on, you've got this and I'm here cheering you on.